1.The Illusion of Not Enough.
"I'm not good at small talk." This illusion is characterized by the belief that who you are isn't enough, so you need more - more information, more time, more education.

2.The Illusion of Comparisons.
"If I could just be like Jim, I'd be a better networker." This illusion causes us to look outside of ourselves to get validation, acceptance, and approval from others in order to do something. We model ourselves after people we think we should be like, instead of being like ourselves, which is more appealing.

3.The Illusion of Struggle.
"Networking is too much work." People stuck in this illusion make things harder than they have to be, resist opportunities coming to them, and are typically distracted by overachieving. This is exemplified by treating networking as hunting, not farming.

4. The Illusion of Time. "I'll try networking when I have more time." This illusion keeps us stuck in the past with bad experiences, or holding out for the future, all the while missing the opportunity of what we can do today.

5.The Illusion of Control.
"I can't go into a room where I don't know anybody." This illusion keeps us stuck by convincing us that all conditions, timing and opportunities must be perfect before we can act. Perfectionism runs rampant in this illusion.

6.The Illusion of Hope.
"If I show up at a networking event, I'll get more clients." Hope is a source of scarcity when it keeps us waiting for someone or something else to make things happen for us, instead of doing what we can do. You can have the best product or service in the world, but if no one knows about it, you won't have any sales.

7.The Illusion of Certainty.
"If I knew I'd get business, I'd go." People who struggle with this illusion are stuck because they need to know an outcome before they can do something. Life does not come with a money back guarantee. The more prepared you are, the greater confidence and certainty you will have about your experience.

Abundant Networkers embody the following aptitudes:

1. Self Worth - they understand and demonstrate with a quiet confidence in their networking that who they are is more than enough

2. Effectiveness - they prepare for networking events in advance, asking for introductions, creating goals of who they want to meet, and utilizing the right tools such as business cards, contact management software, and nametags

3. Self Expression - they know how to talk about what they do and how they add value; they are not stalled by the question "what do you do?"

4. Actualization - they practice the art of engagement, not only going to networking events but following up to build long term relationships that bring referrals and countless other benefits

5. Surrender - they let go of seeking a quick fix, understanding that relationship building is a process that takes an investment of time, energy and attention, with tremendous long term advantages

6. Significance - they do what they can do consistently, with energy and enthusiasm, understanding that the power of networking is in being yourself when it matters most (which is all the time!)

7. Inquiry - they are naturally curious and interested in the people they meet, adept at listening and utilizing questions to draw others into conversation

Social Capital: The accumulation of resources through your personal and professional networks. Resources include referrals, introductions, information, support, and advice.

Abundance: Exercising the freedom to be who you are

Scarcity: Resisting who you are in life