BIZARRE BOOKS

WELCOME TO TITILLATING TOMES & TITLES

On behalf of the Bizarre Book of the Month Club, I would like to welcome you to a curious collection of odds and sods.

These unusual tomes can frequently be found in book bins marked "discounts", "discards", or "dead-giveaways".

So, pull up a chair, put on your spectacles, and grab a bowl of popcorn because you've got all you need for a bit of ho-ho and tee-hee.

DIAGRAM PRIZE FOR "ODDEST BOOK TITLE OF THE YEAR"

For those of you with itchy fingers and a keen need to scratch your head, maybe it's time to register your vote for the "The Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year".

Now in it's 30th year, this contest has a long tradition of tacky titles from which to choose, and the shortlist for 2008 is no exception:

-- I Was Tortured By The Pygmy Love Queen

-- How To Write A How To Write Book

-- Are Women Human? And Other International Dialogues

-- Cheese Problems Solved

-- If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs

-- People Who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Dr. Feelgood.

BEMUSING BOOK BIN PICKS FOR AUGUST

So, what are the top three bewildering books in this month's BIZARRE BOOK OF THE MONTH CLUB?

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K. Dick.

Milton's Teeth and Ovid's Umbrella - Curiouser and Curiousier Adventures in History, by Michael Olmert.

Stipple, Wink and Gusset - The Great Originals: Men and Women Who gave Their Names to History, by James Cochrane.

"The Book With No Name" by Anonymous.

OFFBEAT BOOKS FOR 2007

The folks from Ten Speed Press know how to satisfy the outlandish appetite for the off-beat in everyone.

Here are a few idiosyncratic items for 2007:

Adventures of Cow, Too by Lori Kochek and Marshall Taylor.

Dirty Wow Wow and Other Love Stories - A Tribute to the Threadbare Toys of Childhood by Chryl and Jeffrey Katz.

I Bitch, Therefore I am by Ed Polish and Darren Wotz.

Jerk from Jamaica by Helen Willinsky.

Let's Get Primitive - The Urban Girl's Guide to Camping by Heather Menicucci.

The Cannabible Collection by Jason King.

The Wonder Bread Cookbook - An Inventive and Unexpected Recipe Collection by Wonder.

In case these don't satisfy your weird and wacky tastebuds, maybe the following books by other publishers will whet your appetite:

Harvey Slumfenburger's Christmas Present by John Burningham.

Born Standing Up by Steve Martin.

Life on the Refrigerator Door - A Novel in Notes by Alice Kuipers.

AND NOW A FEW WORDS FROM...?

Note written in haste, together with the accompanying photo, (found hanging precariously on the entrance door of a special bizarre book collection at a local libarary).

Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.
(In the meantime, feel free to peruse the latest addition to our collection, "Things That Bite Back", by Edward Tenner.)

THE BAFFLING BOOKSHELF

Proceed with Caution: Curious covers and crazy content contained in this giggle gallery.

Holy Cow and The Yoga School Drop Out look like winners!

FUP ~Nothing more needs be said~ by Hotash

For Christian cussers of course!

Is Crocodile Fever a best-seller?

A FEW WORDS ABOUT BLEEPING BIBLIOPHILES

For the benefit of those bleeping bods with a scanty knowledge of "bibliophilia" or bookworms for that matter, the following glossary should help:

biblioclast - one who destroys books, notably bibles

bibliognost - one with a complete (pedantic) knowledge of books

biblioklept - a book thief

bibliokleptomaniac - an insane book thief

bibliolater - one overly devoted to books; one having an excessive reverence for the letter of the Bible

bibliomancy - divination by books, notably religious texts

bibliomane - an indiscrimate hoarder of books

bibliopegy - (the finer forms of) bookbinding

bibliophagist - one who usually (metaphorically) eats books

bibliophobia - a morbid fear of books

bibliopoesy - the construction of books

bibliopole - one who sells or deals in books

bibliotaph - one who "buries" books by keeping them locked away

bibliothecary - a librarian

___________

Source: Ben Schott's Essay appearing in the New York Times Book Review entitled, The Bibliognost's Handbook. The author also provides a saucy sample of odd book titles penned under the heading: A gallimaufry of bibliognostic miscellany for the festive Porcus Literarum.

FUNNY PHOBIAS FOR BOOKLOVERS

Who said patrons of pocketbooks don't have a few phobias to overcome besides running amok in used bookstores, trying to outwit book trolls in libraries, or reading things between the lines?

Bashful browsers and boisterous bibliomaniacs all share one thing in common...a fascination with the written word.

There are however a few funny phobias which come to mind when talking about reading and writing.

abibliophobia - a fear of being without books (especially on a desert island with no bathing beauties or hunks to distract one's attention)

graphophobia - a fear of writing (and who wouldn't be with so many english teachers and literary critics around!

logophobia - a fear of words (more likely a fate worse than death, the fine print in all legal contracts)

onomatophobia fear of words or a certain word (a problem if you're a poet, a preacher, or politician)

phronemophobia - fear of thinking (no wonder there are so many dimwits, dolts, and dunderheads found in high places)

scriptophobia - writing in public (which is probably why little loo libraries are so popular)

sesquipedalophobia - a morbid fear of long words (which is usually accompanied by a fatal fear of commas, dashes, and exclamation points!)

sophophobia - fear of wisdom or learning (no wonder pet rocks, slinkies, and candy floss were invented)

TITILLATING TITLES FOR 2006

Here's a sample of some titillating titles for 2006:

Au Pied de Cochon - The Album, a self-published cookbook by Marin Picard, a chef who would never serve his customers a "pig-in-a-poke"!

Shroom: A Cultural History of the Magic Mushroom by Andy Letcher, for those who need to know why boisterous brownies are always dancing around toadstools and munching on mushrooms.

Survival of the Sickest: A Medical Maverick Discovers Why We Need Disease by Sharon Moalem, Ph.D.. Hmmm...has this got anything to do with the plethora of profits being made by giant pharmaceutical companies and medical equipment manufacturers?

I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron. Will next year's sequel feature cheeks or love handles?

The Omnivore's Dilemma: The Natural History of Four Meals by Michael Pollan. Warning: this tasty tidbit may not satiate the voracious appetite of verbivores.

It's Okay to Miss the Bed on the First Jump by John O'Hurley. For those who have difficulty counting sheep while awaiting the arrival of the Sandman.

The End: (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 13) by Lemony Snicket and Brett Helquist. It's hard to know what they'll do for an encore unless it has something to do with ressurection and the second coming of the whole kit and kaboodle!

Heat: An Amateur's Adventures as Kitchen Slave, Line Cook, Pasta-Maker and Apprentice to a Dante-Quoting Butcher in Tuscany by Bill Buford. The only question is, can he sing opera while slinging the spaghetti?

Reaching Climax and Other Towns Along the American Highway by Gary Gladstone. Almost as much fun as his last loopy piece of literature about off-beaten track, out-of-the-way places in America called, Passing Gas.

Unscrewed - The Consumer's Guide to Getting What You Paid For by Ron Burley. Hmmm...by eliminating the "Twist and Shout", someone's taken all my fun out of shopping.

Why Cats Paint, A Theory of Feline Aaesthetics by Burton Silver and Heather Busch. Surely this has to be the cat's meow if not the cats pyjamas!

ODD BOOKS AUCTION

ODD BOOKS FOR ODD PEOPLE

Fetching new data from eBay now... please stand by

PATHETIC POCKETBOOKS

George Carlin had the right idea twenty-five years ago when he used a great routine called, The Book Club.

He recommended the following imaginary titles to cheer up even the most exhausting Eeyores around:

Rid Yourself of Doubt, or Should You?

Tremble Your Way to Fitness

Reorganizing Your Pockets

What to Wear On the Toilet

A Treasury of Poorly-Understood Ideas

Backpacking for Shut-Ins

I Gave Up Hope and Died, and It Worked

For those who need no know more about books that can't be easily categorized (such as those that do not exist, those that are too heavy to lift, or those that have been chewed unmercifully by hungry children or pesky pets, please consult The Interstitial Library's Circulating Collection).

WICKED WORDS & WORKS

A boffo bedtime book collection.

Wicked Words 10: The Best of Wicked Words

Will appeal to wicked wenches and witty witches.

Amazon Price: $7.99 (as of 10/07/2008)

Wicked Words: Poisoned Minds--Racism in the Dictionary

by Firpo W. Carr

Definitely not for the faint of heart.

Amazon Price: (as of 10/07/2008)

Wicked Words: A Treasury of Curses, Insults, Put-Downs, and Other Formerly Unprintable Terms from Anglo-Saxon Times to the Present

by Hugh Rawson

Written by the Prince of Put-Downs himself!

Amazon Price: (as of 10/07/2008)

Wicked Wee Words: For Competitive Word Games

by Sheila John

For those who are into head games what else!

Amazon Price: $11.99 (as of 10/07/2008)

The Wicked Wit of Women

Not your average dainty damsels-in-distress!

Amazon Price: $18.95 (as of 10/07/2008)

THE BELIEVE IT OR NOT BOOKSHELF

Bizarre book bibliophiles will like these little links.

BIZARRE BOOK HAUNT: A great catalogue of bizarre books.
BOOKS THAT DON'T EXIST: A ripsnorting resource for imaginary books or those that have not yet been written.
CURIOUS COLLECTION OF ODD BOOKS: Curiosity-seeking cats will be pleased to know there's a spot for them to indulge their odd reading habits.
FISH WHO ANSWER THE TELEPHONE: Fish may swim, but how many answer the telephone?
WEIRD NEWS AWAITS YOU: "Dave's Daily" offers a dandy dose of funny, strange, and bizarre news.
TAWDRY TITILLATION FROM TEXAS: A bizarre news source from Texas, home towns named "Hoop & Holler", "Cut-n-Shoot", and "Jot Em Down".
WEIRD BOOK LIST: A curious collection of compelling titles.
LOST LANGUAGES: Lovers of blarney will adore this one!
POLITICALLY-INCORRECT DICTIONARY: Definitely not for tsk tsk types.
BIZARRE BOOK TITLES ILLUSTRATED: Exactly what were they thinking?
ISLANDS FOR SALE: For the wannabe writer...with deep pockets.
CONFESSIONS OF A BOOKPLATE JUNKIE: There could be worse addictions you know!
THE APOSTROPHE PROTECTION SOCIETY: More about how to conserve correctly an endangered punctuation mark.
WHOO WHO...: For those who love collecting verbs and nouns.
WORD-DETECTIVE: For sycophantic sleuthing types.
PECULIAR PAPERCUTS: A lovely list of tantalizing titles like, "Love & Luncheon Meat" and "Who Will Run the Frog Hospital?"
ODD BOOK GROUP: Odd books from the olde country.
A CUPBOARD OF CURIOSITIES: A wide selection of perverse, pithy, and just plain potty pocketbooks for pinheads.
BIZARRE BOOKPLATES: A fine collection of baffling and bewildering bookplates (or perhaps those that have just gone bonkers!)
A TAWDRY TOME?: "Scouts in Bondage. A Story of Boy Scouts in Strange Adventures" ...for only US$300!
A BOAT LOVER GONE BONKERS?: "How to Avoid Huge Ships" ...the perfect gift for bathtub racers, dinghy operators, and kayak enthusiasts.
DUD BOOKS OF ALL TIMES: A smattering of truly awful books that you probably won't want to miss or for that matter put down on your coffee table any time soon.
A SELECTION ON SURREALISM: A critique of the enigmatic Isidore Lucien Ducasse...a figment of the French imagination together with the weird works of Salvador Dali.
BIZARRE WORLD OF BONKERS BOOK COLLECTING: Which reminds me, I must pick up a vintage British mystery novel entitled, "The Fangs of Suet Pudding".
SOME FIND GOREY GROOVY!: Fans of Edward Gorey will love this tribute to a Dark Horse Humorist.
A LITERARY ODDITY: A literary review of an odd book chronicling the peculiar passion some people have to collect curious things like "baby rattles", "barbed wire", and "utility hole covers".
LEMONY SNICKET LOVERS: Hmmm...why do kids, and for that matter grown-ups like silly stories with bad situations, bizarre circumstances and unhappy endings?
WHY SELL BIZARRE BOOKS?: Meet a man who loves to rescue antiquated books, and why he sells them; (note - could it be that he's cranky and has virtually no employable skills)?
MORE ODD BOOKS: More odd books for twisted tome lovers!
CURIOUS COVERS: Would these curious covers catch your eye and whet your appetite for a good plot?
ODD TITLES COLLECTION: There are more odd titles than you can shake a stick at on this site!
TWENTY OF THE ODDEST BOOK TITLES: Haven't you always wanted to know "100 Reasons Why the Earth is Not a Globe" or why "The Sex Life of the Foot and the Shoe" is important to your happiness?
MOST INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE WHO NEVER LIVED: If you've always wanted to know about The 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived: How Characters of Fiction, Myth, Legends, Television, and Movies Have Shaped Our Society, Changed Our Behavior, and Set the Course of History, you'll be surprised to learn that Darth Vader, Charlie Brown and Mr. Whipple didn't make the list.

MIRTHFUL MEMORABILIA

Mysterious things can often be found lying tucked away in bottom drawers, not to mention dusty filing cabinets and travel trunks in the attic.

Apparently one American library has managed to acquire a rather fine collection of eccentric ephemera belonging to a former maven of mirth, Molly Ivvins.

Several intriguing items include:

At Least I Had Fun Doing These, a copy of a 1979 book by Charles N. Granville.

Bush Lost - Get Over It!, a well-preserved 1994 bumper sticker.

Hail To The Thief, CD

Loopholes in the Bible Belt, an undated transcript by Greg Bass.

On Condition of Anonymity, an undated 45 rmp record.

Presidential Biblical Scoreboard, a positively perplexing periodical published in Texas, dated 1988.

Shrub: The Short But Happy Political Life of George W. Bush, a copy of Molly Ivvins' book published at the turn of the new millennium.

The Nobody Show, one cassette tape covering the period October 1993 - January 1994.

Who Let the Dogs In? Incredible Political Animals I Have Known, manuscript by Molly Ivvins (2004).

MORE UNUSUAL BOOK TITLES TO CHOOSE FROM!

Scratching your head wondering what you're going to get for the person who seems to have everything, perhaps you can snap up these baffling book titles from the Bewildering Book Bin before they're lost and gone forever!

How to Avoid Huge Ships by John W. Trimmer

Be Bold With Bananas (Crescent Books)

Fancy Coffins to Make for Yourself by Dale L. Power

The Devil's Cloth: The History of Stripes by Michel Pastoureaut

Across Europe by Kangaroo by Joseph R. Barry

The Making of a Moron by Niall Brennan

The Flat-Footed Flies of Europe by Peter J. Chandler

Lightweight Sandwich Construction by J.M. Davies

How to Be A Pope: What to Do and Where to Go Once You're in the Vatican by Piers Marchant

BATTY BOOKMARKS FOR THE BLATANTLY BORED

RELIGULOUS - A Mirthful Mockumentary That Explores the Fun in "Fun"damentalism.

HOW TO BE A WITCH -- And why not pray tell?

50 WAYS TO RETAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

WONDERFUL WORLD OF WACKY WITCHES

WAYWARD WINDS

TITILLATING TAGLINES

COLLEGE OF CREATIVE LOAFING

ZODIAC ZONKERS

SCAMPS, SCOUNDRELS & SCALLYWAGS

BOTTLE SHOCK - FOR SASSY SIPPERS ONLY!

BLING FOR BIZARRE BOOKWORMS

Who said bizarre bookworm don't need bling?

Big Bookworm Mug

from PopCap Merchandise

Price: 15.99

Book Freak Messenger Bag

from Friendly Spirit's Booklovers Shop

Price: 24.99

from

Price: 0.00

Bookworm Magnet

from Underground Lending Library Store

Price: 4.74

Bookworm Wall Clock

from Annie Lang's Gifts

Price: 11.99

50 BIZARRE BOOKS FOR BOOKWORMS

Bizarre books - for the glee-challenged, know-it-alls, and those who seem to have everything.

Share your knowledge. Make a difference.

BIZARRE BOOKS

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WELCOME TO TITILLATING TOMES & TITLES

Explore related pages

DIAGRAM PRIZE FOR "ODDEST BOOK TITLE OF THE YEAR"

BEMUSING BOOK BIN PICKS FOR AUGUST

OFFBEAT BOOKS FOR 2007

AND NOW A FEW WORDS FROM...?

THE BAFFLING BOOKSHELF

A FEW WORDS ABOUT BLEEPING BIBLIOPHILES

FUNNY PHOBIAS FOR BOOKLOVERS

TITILLATING TITLES FOR 2006

ODD BOOKS AUCTION

PATHETIC POCKETBOOKS

WICKED WORDS & WORKS

THE BELIEVE IT OR NOT BOOKSHELF

MIRTHFUL MEMORABILIA

MORE UNUSUAL BOOK TITLES TO CHOOSE FROM!

BATTY BOOKMARKS FOR THE BLATANTLY BORED

BLING FOR BIZARRE BOOKWORMS

50 BIZARRE BOOKS FOR BOOKWORMS

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