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BS and BALDERDASH

1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic (by 2 people)   Your rating: 1 - I can do better 2 - Jury's out 3 - Pretty darn good 4 - Splendiferous 5 - Awesometastic

Ranked #102 in Humor, #19053 overall

Rated G. (Control what you see)

WELCOME TO THE LAND OF BULL & BUNKUM

 

Today our world is awash in all manner of dazzling detritus masquerading as breathtaking balderdash and bafflegab.

This lens is meant to assist those who wish to navigate the increasingly globalized glut of empty words signifying nothing.

Frankly, this light-hearted lens fills a nice niche for those who are interested in finding another word for BS, balderdash or just plain nonsense!

WHEN YOU'RE STUCK FOR WORDS...AND BS JUST WON'T DO... 

You know you've entered a "BS Free Zone" when you see this sign.

Fret not, there are plenty of other fine words to use in the English language which deserve to see the light of day.

There are at least 50 other words to say "BS and Balderdash". So, have some fun and pick one that feels right for the occasion:

A: absurdity, argot

B: babble, badinage, bafflegab, bagatelle, baloney, banter, blah blah blah, bologna, bananas, bilge, bilgewater, blague, blarney, blather, bombast, bosh, bull, bullshit, bumpf, buncome, bunk, bunkum, bureaucratese

C: cant, chatter, claptrap, codswallop, crackpot, crap, crapola, craziness, crock, crud

D: double-talk, drivel, drool

F: fatuity, flummery, folderol, folly, foolishness, foolish talk, froth, frothy discourse, fudge

G: gabble, gammon, garbage, gasconade, gibble-gabble, gibberish, gobbledygook, guff

H: hocus-pocus, hogwash, hooey, hokum, hornswoggle, hot air, horseshit, humbug

I: imbecile, prating, inanity

J: jabber, jabberwocky, jargon

M: malarkey, mawkishness, mish-mash, moonshine, mumbo-jumbo

N: nonsense

P: palaver, patter, persiflage, piffle, pomposity, poppycock, prate, prating, prattle, pretense

R: raillery, rant, rigmarole, rodomontade, rot, rubbish

S: senseless gabble, shit, shite, silly, slaver, slobber, small talk, stupid, snake oil, soft soap, stultiloquence, swill

T: tarradiddle, tomfoolery, tommyrot, tosh, trash, trifle, tripe, trumpery, twaddle, twattle

V: vacuous verbiage

W: weasel-words and wish-wash.

A WITLESS WAY WITH WORDS 

WORDORIUM: For whacky wordsmiths and wonky wordpeckers with way too much time on their hands.

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THE IMPORTANCE OF "B" IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE 

Considering the fact that bafflegab, bilgewater and other forms of bs have so little value placed upon them, it's a wonder that they take up so much space on the Internet.

A glimpse on "Google" reveals the importance of words beginning with "B" in the English language:

BS -- 144 million pages

Bull -- 99 million pages

Bullshit -- 19.5 million pages

Blague -- 6.7 million pages

Babble -- 5.5 million pages

Bosh -- 5.4 million pages

Bilge -- 4.6 million pages

Blather -- 2.8 million pages

Baloney -- 1.8 million pages

Bombast -- 1.1 million pages

Balderdash -- 859,000 pages

Bunkum -- 292,000 pages

Bilgewater -- 58,400 pages

Bafflegab -- 52,300 pages

WHAT BRAND OF BLATHER DO YOU LIKE? 

Balderdash & Piffle
The BBC's brand of balderdash & piffle.
Codswallop Fish & Chips
For those who can't stand spam or baloney.
The Origin of Codswallop
Of interest to word wonks.
Malarkey
How to say malarkey in 10 different languages!
Crap(ola)
All the poop on crapola you'll ever need!
Rigmarole
For those who like running around in tiny circles!
Humbug
This word made Ebeneezer Scrooge famous!
Bosh
Everything in the known universe tagged "bosh".
Bumpf at its Best!
Winners of the "Bad Writing Contest".
In Praise of "Balderdash"
Lest you think that I alone have an interest in the great big glossary of guff!
Made for Pompous Prattlers
For those who can't wait to add rich rigamarole to their stultifyingly succinct emails.
Horse...
"Never Stand Behind a Loaded Horse" by Gordon Kirkland.
Wishy-Washy my foot!
This babe doesn't take any bull!
Great Big Giggle Guide
When you can't suck it up any longer, try this.
Hogwash Heaven
An ode to the Golden Pig Year - 2007.
Hot-Air Headquarters
Where The Quipping Queen makes fun of everything.
Big Book of Bunkum
Where vacuous verbosity is the order of the day.
Breathtaking Babble!
Adventures of a Dancing Kumquat...now what could be more entertaining than that!
Hornswoggle & Humcrush
Music for merry-minded munchkins.
Best Source for Slang
Hang with slang!
Wanna Jug of Jargon?
Protest codswallop with your own crockpot!
Buzzword Boardroom
Blinking buzzwords for busy worker bees!
Leadership or Lollygagging?
All about corporate claptrap & coupon-clipping.
Freelance Fun
A snappy, snarky, spoofy goddess of giggles -- Angie Brennan!
Top 10 Hoaxes for 2006
Don't ya love all that hocus-pocus!
Bafflegab At Its Best!
If you can grasp this gobbledygook you'll win first prize in our monthly Glossary of Guff contest!
Web Economy BS Generator
A dazzling doublespeak device to divert attention from any economic entity going down the tubes.
Doublespeak Award
Recipients of The National Council of Teachers of English "Doublespeak Award".
Literary Litterbugs?
Doublespeak another form of detritus?
Slang Site
Where weird webspeakers hang out.
17 Ways to Kill a Sentence
All about the variations on vapid or verbose vocabulary.
Getting a Grip on Gobbledygook
Professors of piffle and puffery will love this.
Legal Mumbo Jumbo Dictionary
Well, if you really must know, it's called "The Stinky Lawyers Mumbo Jumbo Online Dictionary".
Funny Fashion Faux Pas
This lens will titillate those keen on exploring the world of tacky togs for a whale of a tail.
Office Speak You Love To Hate
Here are 50 office-speak phrases that will have you fit to be tied in no time!

TONGUE-IN-CHEEK OR JUST POPPYCOCK? 

Poppycock is such a delightful yet seldom used word in everyday conversation.

Actually senseless soliliquizing (or talking to oneself in a mumble-jumble manner), might be more entertaining and a great boon to stress reduction than having to listen to breathtakingly boring business folk impress us with their latest bafflegab and buzzwords.

So for those who have a passion for poppycock (be it the expletive variety, or potpourri for the palate, there's something for everyone.

And should you every want to fling a fun-word around like "poppycock" in a foreign land, try these on for size:

Denmark (Danish) - Sludder og vrol

Netherlands (Dutch) - Onzin

France (French) -- Sornettes, Balivernes

Germany (German - slang) - Mumpitz

Italy (Italian) - Stupidaggini, Cazzate

Portugal (Portugese) - Papo furado

Spain (Spanish) - Tonterias

Sweden (Swedish) - Struntprat

A GALLERY OF GUFF AND GIGGLES 

The Guru of Gardyloo has kindly agreed to share his favorite collection of guff and giggles with those who appreciate poppycock and piffle.

The origin by peerl

A game of gaffes & guff!

Poppycock: Just The Nuts!!!! by cknlomein

Where's the Poppycock?

Twaddling His Turnips by AZLee

From the Turnip Twaddler...

BULL IN A CHINA SHOP by Patrick Q

Holy Cow!

Jabberwocky by blueneurosis

Jabberwocky.

what a bunch of baloney. by too many bicycles

A bunch of baloney!

tosh by mrTosh

What the tosh is that about?

Hieronymus Bosh - by mebooyou

Looks like bosh to me!

Leprechaun crossing by Joe Cashin

A bit of blarney?

Pomposity Deflated. by Emperor Penguin

Pomposity deflated.

A Wonderful Tale by m!les

Only toddlers understand.

Hocus Pocus by What What

Hocus-Pocus You're out of focus!

EVIL by krazydad / jbum

Bananas & Bozos

The church of hot air by Rune T

Church of Hot Air

XQuery(P) Guff by psd

For Dweebs only!

New Year, Same Old Rubbish. by David Fullarton

New Year, Same Old Rubbish.

Don't Leave Your Bicycle Here by China Chas

GibberishWhat Else!

The March of Foli by Robin Dude

A little folly goes a long way!

obtuse drivel inside by cynical p.

Obtuse drivel at your fingertips!

Great titles by Librarianguish

Another trifling tome!

JOHN CLEESE EULOGY 

A positively piffling performance by J.C. himself!

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PUNCTUATION FOR PRATTLERS 

When pithy prose doesn't work...try this!

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LOTS OF HOOEY IN HEFTY BAGS! 

Not another crapola commercial?

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HOLY SHIT! 

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MUSINGS ON MANURE 

The word "shit" is a very old word indeed. In days gone by, shite and schiten were more commonly used to express the regular routine of relieving oneself in nature, the throne room, or the tinkle pantry.

Shit truly is a remarkably colorful if not versatile word that rolls off the tongue easily.

While the priggish pendantics behind Webster's Dictionary have suggested that it is a vulgar expression not to be used in polite company, it seems to have found its way into the everyday vernacular since it occupies an important place as the least misunderstood word in the English language.

Thanks to Kathleeen Mayer's handy pocket edition of How To Shit In The Woods - An Environmentally Sound Approach To A Lost Art, we now have a great big glossary of shit-inspired expression, (a sample of which appears below).

big shit - someone with an overinflated sense of self-importance

bullshit 1. lies; nonsense. 2. trash; useless junk. 3. name of a group word game. 4. an interjectin of fierce disagreement.

chickshit 1. a coward. 2. petty behavior. adj. cowardly

crock of shit - something false or deceptive

deep shit - big trouble; also stated "knee deep in shit"

dipshit - idiot; nerd.

doesn't know shit from Shinola - can't tell the difference between excrement and brown shoe polish.

dumbshit - a pathetic incompetent

get your shit together 1. undergo great personal growth; to become organized or focused. 2. admonition to hurry up.

Holy Shit! - exclamation of surprise, discovery, relaization, or fear

horseshit - 1. lies, double-talk. 2. interjection of vehement disagreement.

hot shit - a class act; a popular item; freuqently used sarcastically.

know your shit - to be an expert in your field.

little shit 1. a person of small sature. 2. petty annoyance. 3. term of enderament for someone who is looked upon admiringly as a sweet rascal.

No shit! 1. exclamation ranging from high excitment to surprise; often similar to Really?; used sarcastically in response to something already known. 2. exclamation of agreement.

shit bricks 1. to worry. 2. to be terrified

shit-fit - tizzy

up shit creek - in a bad situation

And for those who think detritus is "de trop debris" or simply "dead as a doornail", think again. Here's a lovely little gem called "Peter's Useful Crap"!

AND NOW A WORD FROM "OUR LADY OF LIPPY" 

Divas and Dowagers share a lot in common.

They both know that they can dish out the dirt any way they please. And, that if a man misbehaves, he knows where he'll be spending the night...in the damn dog house!

These dazzling dames also know that if you mate a Bulldog with a Shitzu, the only name you can call it is "BS"!

BS AWARD

BEST BOSH GOING ON THE NET! 

For those who like the skewed side of life.

Historical Archives: Facial Corsets For Ladies, Finally
Woman, look again as twelve years of age! At last, FACIAL CORSETS for LADIES make slender and comely the Woman's Face, pushing up and accentuating...

OUTRAGEOUS ODDITIONS 

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THE BUNKUM BOOKSHELF 

100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them by Stanley Bing

100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them by Stanley Bing

Or, how to hone your internal bs detector.0 points

On Bullshit by Harry G. Frankfurt

On Bullshit by Harry G. Frankfurt

Great help in defining deep doo doo.0 points

Decoding the BS of Business, Selling to Executives by Jerry Vass

Decoding the BS of Business, Selling to Executives by Jerry Vass

Or, how to pitch woo to high muck-a-mucks.0 points

BS 15000: A Pocket Guide by Jan van Bon

BS 15000: A Pocket Guide by Jan van Bon

Here's more BS to baffle your brains!0 points

BS in America by Larry Brooks

BS in America by Larry Brooks

The cheapest bit of BS I've read yet!0 points

Know Bull, How To Banish BS From Your Life by KC Elliott

Know Bull, How To Banish BS From Your Life by KC Elliott

Or, how to avoid stepping in cowpies.0 points

BS in America by Larry Brooks

BS in America by Larry Brooks

For those with short attention spans.0 points

The Areas of My Expertise by John Hodgman

The Areas of My Expertise by John Hodgman

Light-weight loo reading material.0 points

Amphigorey by Edward Gorey

Amphigorey by Edward Gorey

Nonsense prose, odd-ball verse & w more...0 points

Amphigorey Also by Edward Gorey

Amphigorey Also by Edward Gorey

You mean they make epipleptic bicycles?0 points

Amphigorey Too by Edward Gorey

Amphigorey Too by Edward Gorey

Do you like lavender leotards & gi more...0 points

Amphigorey Again by Edward Gorey

Amphigorey Again by Edward Gorey

The world of Lord Wherewithal & Ho more...0 points

The Complete Verse and Other Nonsense by Edward Lear

The Complete Verse and Other Nonsense by Edward Lear

Seen a Dingle Bank or a plum-pudding flea lately?0 points

How Mumbo-jumbo Conquered The World by Francis Wheen

How Mumbo-jumbo Conquered The World by Francis Wheen

Lamb-basting with skewers made easy!0 points

Bend Over Here It Comes! Tall Tales & Gibberish Malarkey & Balderdash While Hunting Wild Turkeys by Bill Privette

Bend Over Here It Comes! Tall Tales & Gibberish Malarkey & Balderdash While Hunting Wild Turkeys by Bill Privette

Baloney & BOHICA fans will appreci more...0 points

Balderdash

Balderdash

Grab the bull by the horns: Balderdash is back!0 points

The Best American Shit Stories 2002

The Best American Shit Stories 2002

The best alternative to shovelling it.0 points

Baloney Slice Theology by Gayle Norris

Baloney Slice Theology by Gayle Norris

Best consumed with a grain of salt.0 points

The BaLoney Code by Davis Sweet

The BaLoney Code by Davis Sweet

A meat-lover's delight.0 points

Three Times Carlin: An Orgy of George by George Carlin

Three Times Carlin: An Orgy of George by George Carlin

The swill mill will never be the same!0 points

Oh, Yikes!: History's Grossest Moments by Joy Masoff

Oh, Yikes!: History's Grossest Moments by Joy Masoff

A fun way to learn about rogues & more...0 points

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett

For the younger generation who use the W.C.0 points

Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore

Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore

An odd tale about the origin of the Easter Bunny.0 points

Hard Facts, Dangerous Half-Truths And Total Nonsense: Profiting From Evidence-Based Management by Jeffrey Pfeffer

Hard Facts, Dangerous Half-Truths And Total Nonsense: Profiting From Evidence-Based Management by Jeffrey Pfeffer

For those want the truth...nothing but the truth.. more...0 points

Moose Dropping & Other Crimes Against Nature by Tom Brennan

Moose Dropping & Other Crimes Against Nature by Tom Brennan

A sequel to Curious Cowpie Collectors Volume 1?0 points

The Not So Little Book of Dung by Caroline Holmes

The Not So Little Book of Dung by Caroline Holmes

The history of chips, guano and other leavings.0 points

The Business of Bullshit by Graham Edmonds

The Business of Bullshit by Graham Edmonds

Definitely not a pretentious pocketbook.0 points

THE BS BOUTIQUE 

BODACIOUS BAFFLEGAB APPRECIATED 

kab

The shit's gonna hit the fan on this one.

Thanks for joining the Squidoo Bathroom!

Posted February 03, 2008

Angie

Greetings, Quipping Queen:

In doing some ego-googling I came across your site and saw you had linked to my site with this description:
"A snappy, snarky, spoofy goddess of giggles." I like this so much, I may put it on my business card! Thanks for the link.

Angie
http://www.angiebrennan.com

Posted May 18, 2007

Addy

Haven't laughed so much in ages. Thanks Your Majesty.

Posted February 09, 2007