Created by quippingqueen (contact me)
Wiggle your wattle! If you've got one, flaunt it proudly just like me!
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WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF WATTLES!
Exactly what is a wattle?
Even more important, tell me why I should give a sweet patootie about the wonderful world of wattles for pity's sake?
To some it's a double chin, to others a sexy skin flap, and to a precious few wild thangs, it's what makes them distinctive!
THE WATTLE WORKS
Dig that double chin!
What do you mean I have a double chin?
Look me in the eyes and tell me that again!
Who are you calling a Double-Chinned Dork?
I double chin dare ya!!!
Dweebs usually come with double chins.
How'dya like my double chin?
An ode to the Double Chin!
Subspecies: the double-chinned dim-wit.
WHAT IS A "WATTLE"?
The "wattle" is a fleshy fold of skin hanging from the neck or throat. Not usually seen as an endearing piece of human anatomy, it is however quite common among animals such as the bodacious bird family be it the pelican, wattle bird, common rooster or a Thanksgiving turkey!In the popular TV comedy, "Ally McBeal", reference is made to a word rarely heard in the English language but one which took on a life of its own in this enigmatic yet entertaining weekly show.
It seems that an odd character by the name of Richard Fish, (a partner in the legal firm of Cage/Fish & Associates), had a fetish for the "wattle". He particularly enjoyed fiddling with rather fetching fragrant female flaps of skin beneath the necks of mature mavens.
For those who are just not into "wattles", take heart for there is always the next best thing to lay one's eyes upon...the dashing or delightful dangling double chin!
Moral to this tale -- If God gave it to you...why not flaunt it for all it's worth!
FOR WIGGLESKIN & WATTLE WINNERS ONLY!
I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman
Wenches with unwanted facial fuzz and a funnybone will definitely appreciate this one!
Amazon Price: $14.93 (as of 05/16/2008)
Neck Deep: The Disastrous Presidency of George W. Bush
For those who are wondering what it's like to be neck deep in a swamp filled with alligators.
Amazon Price: $22.95 (as of 05/16/2008)
Stick Your Neck Out: A Street-Smart Guide to Creating Change in Your Community and Beyond
For those who insist on sticking their necks out when most people are happy just sticking their heads in the sand.
Amazon Price: $10.46 (as of 05/16/2008)
Necks Out for Adventure: The True Story of Edwin Wiggleskin
Frankly, anyone named "Wiggleskin" who sticks his neck out for adventure deserves to be read from cover to cover!
Amazon Price: $11.55 (as of 05/16/2008)
TV TRIVIA TIDBITS - WASSUP WITH THAT WATTLE?
Backgrounder: In the American TV sitcom, "Ally McBeal", whose wattle did lawyer Richard Fish fiddle with while dating a feisty female judge named "Whipper", causing her to break up with him?
DELIGHTFUL DANGLING DOUBLE-CHINS
http://flickr.com/photos/candytangerine/580931540/
Dahling it's my double-chin!
Chin chin honey-bunny!
Who's calling me a flapping floosie?!*
A double-chinned damsel-in-distress?
Beware of Five Chin Cruella!
Surplus Skin on a Sleeping Beauty!
Keeping my chin up is a lot of work!
The Diva of Double-Chins.
The double-chin that lurks within.
Who are you calling a scary bit of skin?
TV TRIVIA TIDBITS - NOT MORE WATTLES?
MORE ABOUT WATTLES
Good Lord, just when you think you've heard all you want to know about "wattles" there's more!Well, the short answer is that wattles are a rather obscure topic, so why not expand on something that rarely sees the light of day!
Besides being the fleshy flap beneath the beak, neck, or throat, the "wattle" can also be found in Eastern Europe as a decorative pattern found in Croation art. It is also a building technique known as "wattle-and-daub" using woven wooden supports packed with clay or mud.
The "wattle" is found in such far-flung places as Africa and Australia among a wide variety of feathered creatures and plants not to mention a humble caterpillar (the "Wattle Bagworm", native to South Africa).
WILD WATTLES ON THE LOOSE!
Wattled Crane (Africa)
The Red Wattlebird (Anthochaera carunculata - Australia)
Red Rooster (wattle and all!)
Wattled Jacana
Wattle-Eye (Platysteira cyanea - Africa)
Double-Wattled Cassowary (Casuarius casuarius - Australia)
Wattle Bird (Australia)
Acacia (commonly known as Wattle - Australia)
Wattled Lapwing (Vanellus senegallus - Africa)
Wattled Guan (Aburria aburri)
Red Wattle
Wattled Starling (Africa)
Rhododendron Wattle Bird
Australian Bush-Turkey (Alectura lathami)
Wattle-Necked Softshell Turtle
"WATTLE" APPRECIATION DAY
"Wattle Day" is celebrated in Australia as the first day of spring. This is probably not surprising given the wonderful world of wattles around them, (from the colorful red and yellow varies of Acacia plant to the the Wattle Bird itself).Since "birds of a feather" tend to stick together, it might be more appropriate to pay homage to the "wattle" on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day during that ripsnorting ritual of devouring that 30 lb. stuffed and roasted bird with all the trimmings in one sitting.
For those who are not one with nature nor wish to consume any baked or barbecued animal carcasses, the best thing might be to follow Mr. Fish's example. Try feasting your eyes upon a wattle or two...be they the double chins of posh people like Winston Churchill (former British Prime Minister), John Diefenbaker (ex Canadian Prime Minister) and John Candy (deceased Canadian comedian), or the dangling delights of pleasingly plump ladies. Do be careful lest your oggling draw unwarranted attention from the "Wattle Watchdog", (a newly formed government agency that protects the rights of weeping wenches with wattles).
Perhaps in your neck of the woods, they've never heard of a "wattle"? In fact, in some parts of the planet, perhaps a "wattle" isn't a "wattle" at all! Maybe it's a "choller", a rather fine word meaning a double-chin or the hanging lip of a hound dog!
If in doubt, just celebrate the first day of Spring wherever you are with a spot of tea as it should be, and don't forget to wiggle your wattle for all you're worth!
MORE TRIVIAL TIDBITS ABOUT WATTLES!
WENCH WITH A WICKED WATTLE
LITTLE LINKS TO WATTLES
- INTRODUCTION TO THE WATTLE
- For those who like the short and sweet answer to the question, "What the devil is a "wattle?"
- WATTLE WATTLE EVERYWHERE
- All you ever wanted to know about wattles but never dared to ask!
- WATTLE SEED SHORTBREAD
- You can certainly upstage Martha Stewart with this recipe from a Canuck no less.
- FROM THE LAND OF OZ
- A great lesson plan for those who are keen to learn more about the acacia plant (otherwise known as the "Wattle").
- WATTLE DAY
- "Wattle Day" - a national holiday in Australia!
- WATTLE CREEK WINERY
- If you don't like fiddling with wattles, perhaps you can pick up a plump grape or two from the "Wattle Creek Winery" in California.
- WATTLE AND DAUB
- For those who appreciate medieval home decorating and design (note: will probably not appeal to American sub-prime mortgage investors).
- MORE ABOUT WATTLE AND DAUB
- What to do with wee bits of wood, bales of straw, and cow dung.
- WATTLE FENCE
- A rather fine example of how to build a fence from left-over twigs, branches and whatnot.
- WATTLE IT BE?
- Oh no not more turkey titillations?
- IT'S NOT A "WATTLE" IT'S A "GOOZLE"
- A "wattle" by any other name is a "goozle" and don't you forget; more importantly, here are some ways to rid yourself of this horrid hanging flapping piece of flesh.
BREATHTAKING BOOKS BY A WISEGUY NAMED WATTLES
How to Be a Genius or The Science of Being Great
And now a word from Mr. Wattles.
Amazon Price: $22.95 (as of 05/16/2008)
THE SCIENCE OF GETTING RICH: Financial Success Through Creative Thought
Another word from Wattles, a wiseguy on wealth.
Amazon Price: $6.90 (as of 05/16/2008)
Automatic Wealth I: The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind-Including: As a Man Thinketh, the Science of Getting Rich, the Way to Wealth & Think and Grow Rich
More about the magic behind money-bags!
Amazon Price: $23.39 (as of 05/16/2008)
The Secret to Getting Rich Triology: The Ultimate Law of Attraction Classics
If following the "Yellow-Brick Road" is getting you nowhere, try this one!
Amazon Price: $11.53 (as of 05/16/2008)
The Wisdom of Wallace D. Wattles - Including: The Science of Getting Rich, The Science of Being Great & The Science of Being Well
All you ever wanted to know about Wallace D. Wattles and never dared to ask.
Amazon Price: $16.49 (as of 05/16/2008)
BATTY BOOKMARKS FOR WATTLE WONKS
WATTLE I GET TODAY?
FEEDBACK FROM FUNNY FLAPPERS!
Feedback from those who possess or appreciate a delightful or dashing double-chinned dude or damsel.
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Lilly
Great wonderul hilarious lens- I'm drawing turkeys and wattles are very important! But have you heard of a SNOOD?! And it's so funny, but I've read Wallace Wattles too. I love how you called him a wise guy. It was so funny to remember John Cage and Richard and how he loved 'wattle'.HA great lens Posted January 11, 2008 |
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Evelyn_Saenz
This is one of the funniest lenses I have read. I'm looking forward to reading more. Posted January 01, 2008 |
