YEAR OF THE PIG

TIME TO GO HOG WILD!

Welcome to my world of wit and wonk devoted to a very special 12 month celebration -- 2007 The Year of the Boar, Hog, and Pig!

No doubt about it, higgledy-piggledy and hogwash are definitely 'de rigueur' this year. Time to celebrate with some hogs and kisses, swine and roses, or Truffle Pig bars!

Welcome to our swine-tasting event! (Illustration by Bill Mayer)

POSH PIG PEOPLE, PLACES & THINGS

(aka "A Simply Superb Swinery")

Ribald rashers will love our resource guide for all things gone hog-wild!

IMPORTANT PIG PEOPLE: Everything you always wanted to know about "pig people" naturally!
"IN THE YEAR OF THE PIG" MOVIE: Barnyard beasts who can't get enough of the "Bay of Pigs" invasion know this is their favorite flick!
YEAR OF THE PIG STAMP: Now you can lick all the stamps on swine you want!
HOGS & KISSES: For a night-out-on-the-town...try this barnyard bistro!
HOGS HAVE HEARTS TOO!: This little lawn display is a perfect present for any pig you know.
QUIPPING QUEEN: She rules the roost and knows how to keep boars, pigs, and hogs in their place!
WORDORIUM: For those who are tired of snuffling about and want to play with weird words.
PIGGY PORTRAITS: Porky Pig never looked this good!
SAY IT WITH SWINE!: The highlight of any pigpen party!
PIGGOT'S POLITICAL DICTIONARY: What every pundit needs when he wants to dig up the dirt!
GREAT GRUNTS!: Disparaging words from wonderfully wonky barnyard beasts.
PRICELESS PIGMALIONS!: When it comes to rural idioms...hogs have it spades!
ALL ABOUT HOG CALLING: A few words about the lost art of hog-calling.
A PIECE OF PIG POETRY: Funny poem about a pig by Roald Dahl.
PIGGY PICTURES: Pot belly pigs never looked better!
SWISH SPARE RIBS!: Red Hot & Blue Bar-B-Que awaits you!
OiNK!: (OiNK!) Only In New York! -- pork barrel politics at its best!
THINK PIGS CAN'T FLY?: Wait til you see the "Flying Pig Slingshot" (with oink sound)!
PIGGLES THE PIG: A patently funny pig if ever there was one!
PIGS IN THE NEWS: Have you had your boar break today?
PIG PUNS: Be My ValenSwine! Here's mud in your sty!
CHURCH OF THE SACRED SWINE: Home to the Holy Sow and the Great Pig.
SAUSAGE STUFFER: All you wanted to know about sausage stuffers.
BALDERDASH & HOGWASH: Never underestimate the power of a Ph.D. - words that can be piled high and deep.
PIG NOVELTIES: Forget the greased pig, check this place out!
SWANKY SWINE!: A great tribute Stefan Pastas and lensmaster "adaptiveanimal"!
SECURITY SWINE SENSATION: The "Security Word Thesaurus" by Kimberly Dawn Wells is a gem...especially pig zoom.
ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE HUMBLE "HOGWORT": For those who can't get enough about "Croton Capitatus", affectionately known as "Wooly Croton", (a pesky plant naturally).
IT TAKES AN ENGINEER TO TELL US HOW TO COOK BACON!: Engineers may rule the world...but can they cook?
WILD HOGS #1 IN CANADA!: It's no surprise a funny flick like Wild Hogs is such a big hit in Canada. After all, they've got such a productive pig industry that now they know how to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse...just like everyone else in Hollywood.
TIME TO PRACTICE YOUR PIG-LATIN!: Need help translating your speech into Pig-Latin?
BIG PIG GIG: The "Power of Sow" is waiting to greet you in the "Pig Gallery" (where they display oodles of pig portraits of course).
PIGS ON PARADE: Join the centennial celebration of "Pigs on Parade" at Seattle's Pike Place Market.
HOGS & KISSES PIGGY LIPSTICK: Pucker up with this curious collection of posh piggy lip liner.
POT-BELLIED PIG PRODUCTS: Now you can root around all you want in this pig pond for the best porcine present for your friends or family members.
HOGS N' KISSES FROM EVERYONE!: No need to grunt and groan this year while trying to figure out what card to buy to special someone...just send a "Hogs N' Kisses" greeting!
DIGITAL PIG CLOCK: In honor of "The Year of the Pig" ...your very own digital pig clock (item 5011) to put on your blog or website.
PIG RINGTONES: Amaze your family members in the barnyard or colleagues in the pigpen with grunts, oinks, snorts or whatever hogs do best!
THERE REALLY IS A PLACE CALLED "PIG" IN THE USA: Now tell me, would you really want to tell people you lived in "Pig"...even if it is in Kentucky!
ROADHOGS: A dazzling documentary about a hockey team!
PIGTOWN FLING: It's not surprising that the Foggy Hogtown Boys (aka bluegrass boars) are releasing a new album in the "Year of the Pig", aptly entitled Pigtown Fling.
PEARLS BEFORE SWINE CARTOON: Can't get enough porky pig tales, well try this one on for size!
PIGOU'S POSITIVE SIDE: So who is "Pigou", and why should we care whether he has a positive side or not?
PIGGY PIGGY: Who said money doesn't bring happiness?
DISHPIG: All about the trials and tribulations of being a "dishpig"!
THE PIG OF HAPPINESS: Philosophical Piglets will love this one!
THE CHRISTMAS PIG: It will warm the cockles of your heart, and besides that, it's a good read by Kinky Friedman.

ODE TO PIGS, HOGS, AND BOARS!

I'm tickled pink you like me!

I only speak learn Pig Latin!

Three little pigs...

Truffle Pig label, Design Round 1 by Nathan Arnold

Truffle Pig Wine?

A grunting grogger?

Year of the Boar!

A honey of a hog!

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OINK OINK!

Make Me Squeal!

According to Chinese astrology, 2007 is the Year of the Pig.

Inspite of a western reputation for being suspect swine (aka 'pigs-in-a-poke'), hogs are by nature rather self-effacing critters, nice to a fault, and known to have impeccable manners if not taste.

Although rarely known to fly, they delight in keeping their feet on the ground, sampling sumptuous meals and hanging out in rich surroundings.

Pigs are party animals who love a bit of mud-wrestling with the right partner and adore putting a smile on everyone's face. Although, if truth be told, they tend to ignore the other half of humanity comprised of wimps, worrywarts, and wet-blankets.

A final word about pigs, never interrupt a happy hog while he's snoozing, snuggling up to a ripsnorting rasher, or simply splashing about in a bubble-bath. And whatever you do, never never double-cross a pig ...even if it's a prank...that benign disposition has a habit of becoming a boiling caldron if pushed too far!

PIZZA PRINCESS: MISS PIGGY NATURALLY!

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WILD HOGS ...here they come!

Forget flying pigs, have you seen four road hogs?

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TALK ABOUT A PIG-IN-A-POKE...

Charlotte's Web - Trailer 2

http://www.waldenfans.com Full Trailer for Walden Media's Charlotte's Web

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IN PRAISE OF PIGS

What would "Year of the Pig" be without a little hoopla for the humble hog!

The Pig, if I am not mistaken,
Supplies us sausage, ham and bacon.
Let others say his heart is big,
I think it stupid of the pig.
--Ogden Nash, (1902-1971), American humorist

Hogamous, higamous
Manis is polygamous.
Higamous, Hogamous
Woman is monogamous.
-- William James, (1842-1910), American philosopher and psychologist

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
-- George Carlin, American comedian

I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm.
-- Alfred Hitchcock, (1899-1980), British film director & producer

Many people were quite upset that there was a large uncontrollable pig on board, especially those in the first class cabin.
-- attributed to a US Airways spokesperson, after a pig travelling in first class as a "therapeutic pet companion" had rampaged through the aisles

Hog, n. The scientific name of this dicky-bird is "Porcus Rockefelleri". Mr. Rockefeller did not discover the hog, bit it is considered his by right of resemblance.
-- Ambrose Bierce, (1842-1914), American editorialist, journalist, short-story writer & satirist

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear.
--J.B. Morton, (1893-1979), British humorist

Lawsuit: A machine you go into as a pig and come out a sausage.
--Ambrose Bierce

Pigmy, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travellers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasions - who are Hogmies -- Ambrose Bierce

Bacon, n. The mummy of a pig embalmed in brine. To 'save one's bacon' is to narrowly escape some particular woman, or other peril. -- Ambrose Bierce

Hedgehog, n. The cactus of the animal kingdom. -- Ambrose Bierce

HOLY SOW...WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT!

Christopher Moore, author of such twisted yet titillating tomes as Blood-Sucking Fiends - A Love Story, Practical Demonkeeping, and Island of the Sequined Love Nun adds colorful off-kilter characters to his comic novels such as "Mavis Sand" in The Lust Lizard in Melancholy Cove.

Mavis first began augmenting her parts in the fifties, first out of vanity: breasts, eyelashes, hair. Later, as she aged and the concept of maintenance eluded her, she began having body parts replaced as they failed, until almost half of her body weight was composed of stainless steel (hips, elbows, shoulders, finger joints, rods fused to vertebrae five through twelve), silicon wafers (hearing aids, pacemaker, insulin pump), advanced polymer resins (cataract replacement lenses, dentures), Kevlar fabric (abdominal wall reinforcement), titanium (knees, ankles), and pork (ventricular heart valve).

Technology may not be able to transform a pig's ear into a silk purse...but look what it can do to mend a broken heart!

SAUSAGES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

A quick search of the word "sausage" on Google reveals that there are no less than 18.1 million pages devoted to a humble food also known as a "banger", "hot dog", or "weiner" in different circles.

On June 19, 1988, some strange folks managed to stuff one that measured 13 miles in length (which is said to have become a world record of sorts).

Apparently five centuries ago, this food stuff became a central figure in what became known as the "Lent Sausage Scandal". It was the sausage that proved to be the rallying-cry for the Swiss Reformation in 1522.

And two well-known politicians of their day also had something to say about this meal in a casing that can be fried, baked, or boiled to make it palatable.

"A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso." -- Sir Alan Patrick Herbert,(1890-1971), British author and politician.

"Laws are like sausages. It is better not to see them being made." Attributed to Otto von Bismarck, the 19th century Chancellor who united Germany.

"Es geht um die Wurst. - German idiom meaning "It's now or never!"

"Alles hat ein Ende, nur die Wurst hat zwei." German idiom meaning "Everything will come to an end" or the literal translation, "Everything has an end, the sausage has two."

Es ist mir Wurst." German idiom meaning, "It doesn't bother me", "I don't care", although the literal translation is "It is sausage to me". (Note: That's it from the breathtaking bratwurst capital of the world).

And if wieners don't grab your fancy, then why not finish off with an ode to that old standby "ham".

Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (Anonymous).

__________

Photo Credit: The Food Museum Online.

WHAT'S A "BOGHOG"?

According to Google, there are 8,230 web pages devoted to the "boghog".

But for Douglas Adams sci-fi novel lovers into their fifth book in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy called Mostly Harmless, boghogs are just part of the riff-raff and perfectly normal beasts one has to contend with while putzing about pecular planets on a timeless trip to outerspace.

And if you're an erstwhile Earthling named "Arthur Dent" who had been to some hell-holes on earth before and even some in galaxies far far away but never one with a welcome sign reading "Even travelling despondently is better than arriving here" (referring to called a planet named "NowWhat" whose main town was called "SoWhat", inhabited by some very odd biting beasts known as boghogs). Warning: The less said about them the better!

__________

"Boghog" look-alike; photo credit - Gargoyle Postcards found on Stonecarver.com.

And for another rendition of "boghogs" please see Boghog Mud Motors.

THIS LITTLE PIGGY...

Say, what's with all the oinks oinks of late in Beautiful British Columbia, a province known far and wide in the world of foodies as the capital of "flakes, nuts and fruitcakes"!

Perhaps it has something to do with hosting the Winter Olympic Games in 2010, who know knows.

For those who love to chomp down a choice of charcuterie, there's definitely something to be had at "The Greedy Pig" in Vancouver according to the dining reviews.

If you're tired of the hog-eat-hog world over there in Vancouver, you can always skip across the pond to Victoria, (the provincial capital of pork barrel politics), where you'll find all manner of squealing little piglets all lining up for lunch (to pull some pork off the bone at "Pig BBQ Joint", what else!

Of course, if it's a smack your lips deli and dessert that you're looking for, you can always head back to Vancouver, and pig out out "The Little Piggy Eatery"!

HOW TO SAY "ROAD HOG" IN FIVE LANGUAGES.

Being fluent with foreign languages comes in handy especially when one is operating a motor vehicle.

Hence the need to acquaint drivers with some handy epithets to fling about fancifully while going fashionably fast along the freeways of life.

Thanks to the authors of The Insult Dictionary we now have a groovy glossary of great greetings to shout:

In German "Road Hog" is Strassen-Schnecke! pronounced (shtraassen-shnayke).

In French it's Chauffard! pronounced (show-far).

In Italian it's Criminale! pronounced (cree-mee-nah-leh).

And in Spanish it's !Mamarracho! pronounced (mamarrachoh).

MISS PIGGY GOES HOG WILD!

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YEAR OF THE PIG - 2007

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TIME TO GO HOG WILD!

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POSH PIG PEOPLE, PLACES & THINGS

(aka "A Simply Superb Swinery")

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OINK OINK!

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A RIPSNORTING RESOURCE OF HEAVENLY HOGWASH!

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